Friday, September 28, 2007
I remember growing up and listening to the radio. I would spend hours listening to music whilst (yeah, I used whilst) our parents listened to boring talk radio. But then a new kind of talk radio hit Chicago in the late 70's, Steve Dahl & Garry Meier.
Steve & Garry were funny and often got into trouble for the things they said and did on the radio. Our parents hated them, which was even cooler. Every class clown and smartass wanted to be the next Steve & Garry, including yours truly.
Growing up disabled my career choices were limited. I knew I wasn't going to be a baseball player, a football player, or a champion ballroom dancer, um, I mean champion bull rider. I had two good options, radio or computers. I loved computers, even in their infancy. And since I was the class clown and smartass, radio had a certain attraction to me. People would often say to me, "You should be on the radio."
I learned about radio in high school, Homewood-Flossmoor High School. We had our own radio station, WHFH, 88.5 FM. This was going to my springboard to stardom, I was going to be the next Steve Dahl. Funny thing about education, you learn things. Aside from learning that it's Sophia and not Sophie Loren, I learned that radio DJ's often have to "pay their dues" all over the country working for small radio stations in small towns. Not being able to live independently or drive I slowly awoke from my radio dream. Computers were mine.
Over the years I continued to listen to the radio icon of my youth. But then I started realizing something.
Steve Dahl was boring.
Everyday was the same thing. Dahl was always complaining about something. His wife, his kids, radio management, ex-partners, ex-friends, a static hum only he could hear. His songs were tired and monotonous. My old idol was a grump, and not a funny grump either.
Here this guy was living my dream and all he could do was complain.
I turned the dial.
Over the years I would give him another try only to find the same show from 15 years earlier. Even yesterday Steve & Garry were on WGN-TV promoting their "reunion". And there was Dahl, it's too early, traffic sucks, this is our umpteenth reunion, blah, blah, blah.
I don't believe in idols. I do, however, have tons of respect for people who get to make a wonderful living doing something I once dreamed of doing. Steve Dahl didn't steal my dream, but he also doesn't honor those who weren't as fortunate as him to live the dream.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I have a vice. I enjoy reality TV. I was there for the first season of The Real World, which started it all. I enjoy watching others deal with, I wont say real-life, but real situations.
It is fun. The shows I currently enjoy are Survivor, Beauty & the Geek, Kid Nation, and Dirty Jobs. While I enjoy these shows, I'm starting to wonder if they are really real. I've long accepted that professional wrestling is all scripted and fake. But, I don't want to not believe in my reality shows. It's just that some of these people are so stupid it's hard to believe they are real.
On the premier of Survivor:China.
The contestants were getting moved in to their camps. One contestant, Sherea, said something so stupid I'm still scratching my head. Quote, "I'm not really an outdoorsy type person." This gem was spoken while she was walking around in heels and a sun dress in the jungle.
HAS THIS PERSON EVER SEEN THE SHOW?
I admit I've not seen seen every season of Survivor, but I don't think there was ever a Survivor: The Four Seasons. There is also and old saying that goes, you don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Well, you also don't bring heels and a sun dress to the jungle. That's good advice for life.
Beauty & the Geek.
During a quiz which would determine whether or not she stayed, Natalie was asked how many stars are on the U.S. flag?
Her response, 13.
She should try out for the new FOX game show, Are You Smarter Than A Mushroom?
The women, the Beauties, are portrayed as borderline mentally challenged. Can they really be that stupid? To be fair, the men, the Geeks, are over the top as well. Because I know guys like these, and because I probably would qualify for the show, as a Geek of course, I can accept the Geeks as real.
I want these shows to be real. I want to believe. But, if these people are real I want to know where they live so I can avoid being in their path of mental destruction. "I thought I was hitting the brake".
I will always have Santa, at least he's real.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
One of life's greatest mysteries, in my opinion, are critics. There are all kinds. Food, drink, entertainment, fashion, arts, and I'm sure blogs. Yesterday I asked who Dane Cook was. My brother described him as "one of the funniest comedians on the circuit." Well, I did some googling and found some video of Mr. Cook's act, ahem. If he's the funniest, I'm the skinniest. But, my point here is who's right?
Movie critics make a lot of money to give their opinions. I did some research. The American Film Institute, (they gotta know something, they're an Institute for crying out loud). They say the best movie ever made was Citizen Kane. Yet, at Box Office Mojo, (they gotta know something too, they've got Mojo in their name), a website that lists how much money a movie has made. Citizen Kane ranks 4927. In addition, it only won one Academy Award, for script. It lost to a movie called How Green Was My Valley, which sounds like environmental porn. So, who's right? I can't speak because I've never seen either. My favorite movie, It's A Wonderful Life. If you don't get teary at the end you're not human.
I love food and drink, who doesn't. I enjoy listening to food critics eloquently describe a foofy restaurant or a particular vintage of wine. The bottom line to all is taste. I enjoy a Yellowtail Shiraz. Here is what one reviewer said,
"The Yellow Tail wasn't a bad wine, mind you, but it was simple, mellow and a bit sweet, characteristics guaranteed to find a ready audience in bars and eateries serving modest wines by the glass, but nothing to engage the senses."
I liked it. Here is a shocker. I once had a glass with two double cheese White Castles. Somewhere a food critic has dropped dead.
I just wish I could understand why we let others help us decide what we should try. I think maybe there should be critic critics.
Monday, September 24, 2007
I don't have much to say today. So I will just post a few questions.
Why is Britney Spears a celebrity?
The world now knows she can't sing or dance, but yet she is still in the news.
Can someone tell me who Dane Cook is?
I've seen his mug all over, but why? I googled him, but just found he has a popular Myspace page. Is that all it takes to be a celebrity?
Why does Sean Penn always look like he is staring at the sun? And why is he always so serious?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Blogging is not easy. I fear that I might write something that somebody might not like. I also have to keep in mind all the different people from around the world reading this blog.
Mark, aren't you thinking a bit much of yourself with that statement? The world? Come on.
No, really. It's true. I was checking the visitor statistics for this blog and I had visitors from Motherwell, North Lanarkshire in the UK, Bendigo, Victoria in Australia, Dakar in Singapore and Las Vegas Nevada.
I'm a world renowned blogger.
That just blows my mind that my words are being read that far away. So what do I say? Will my views on OJ Simpson be relevant down under? Should I say something about crocodiles or shrimp? Does talk about baseball players mean anything in Singapore? I don't know enough about Singapore to even make a joke here. I wont make any bad teeth comments now knowing people in UK are reading. I don't want to cause any international incidents.
But, maybe just maybe my words can help heal the world. What if a potential terrorist just happened upon my blog? He or she laughs at one of my humorous observations. They decide to remove their Armani bomb vest and fight terrorism instead of being part of it. Or I can just see Kim Jong-il peeing himself from laughter and deciding his nuclear weapons program is not needed.
Am I dreaming? Probably. I'll just settle for getting my wife to read this blog.
She's only three feet away.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
To me politicians are a lot like those infomercial salesmen, minus the British accents. When they are selling their products, it is the greatest invention since wiper blades. I, myself, have had to be physically restrained from buying the Hot Dog Toaster, the Fish Pen, and the Stick Up Bulb.
For those of us who live in the great state of Illinois we are seeing another infomercial for CASINO CAN. Illinois, for the record, does not allow gambling. Well, except for those 9 riverboats, 7 horse racing tracks, 13 off track betting parlors, and state lottery.
For whatever reason Illinois does not think land based casinos would be good for the state. I'm also guessing that the Illinois lawmakers have not been to the riverboats I've been to. To call these places boats is like calling Brittney Spears a singer. These "boats" don't and can't move. I'm going to assume they are on water, even though you can't see any.
Now the public transportation services in the Chicagoland area are in a huge financial crisis. Hundreds of millions of dollars are needed to solve the problem. Where oh where will the money come from?
CASINO CAN, that's right ladies and gentlemen CASINO CAN is the all purpose financial fixer. CASINO CAN will dump so much money into the state treasury you will have to give some away.
What? You are worried about the additional crime that will come with CASINO CAN.
No worries, with your extra revenue you can just hire more police.
CASINO CAN will make your state the crown jewel of the Midwest.
But wait, there's more.
CASINO CAN will also resurrect the sluggish mob activity in Chicago. It will be just like that popular TV show, The Sopranos.
Call your state representative today and ask for CASINO CAN. Greedy legislators are standing by.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
(Sung to the tune, My Boyfriends Back)
If you haven't heard, one Mr. OJ Simpson is back in the headlines. While most people shake their heads, I am overjoyed. The reason I'm excited is because this gives me a chance to advertise my new advertising technique. My technique will revolutionize advertising in this new age.
Let's go back to the infamous OJ Trial. Back during that trial I was working from home in the afternoons. I have always had an interest in law and I was drawn to watch that whole process. I was fascinated how both the defense and the prosecution danced in the courtroom. At times, everyone seemed liked friends. Then at other times, it seemed like a Jerry Springer Show.
I remember thinking these are the most serious people doing the most serious job. Deciding whether a man should remain free or be sent to jail or possible death. In my job the most serious thing I do is configure a computer or two. If I make a mistake, oh well, I'll fix it tomorrow.
Yet, in the middle of all the serious legal mumbo jumbo these very serious people wouldn't say a certain word in court. THE "N" WORD. Don't get me wrong, I understood why they wouldn't say THE "N" WORD. It's a very ugly word and millions of TV sets were watching. This is where my idea comes in. Each day THE "N" WORD could have been sponsored. Imagine if you will.
Today the THE "N" WORD is sponsored by, Nextel. When you're calling someone call using Nextel.
Then when the the serious people are talking in court instead of saying,
"The officer called you a 'N' WORD", they could say,
"The officer called you a Nextel Smartphone E77."
The possibilities are great because we have a lot of taboo words.
THE "A" WORD
THE "B" WORD
THE "C" WORD
THE "D" WORD
THE "F" WORD (there are actually two here, THE "Fu" WORD and the THE "Fa" WORD.
THE "J" WORD
THE "N" WORD
THE "S" WORD
THE "Z" WORD, just kidding.
I'm just an idea guy. But, the revenue generated by selling these potential ad spots could help defray court costs. Heck, some cases could help bring down the national.
Monday, September 17, 2007
This blog will be about sports today. More importantly a good sport story. On Sunday September 16th Jim Thome hit his 500th career home run.
HEY MARK, ALL ATHLETES ARE ON DRUGS, WHO CARES!
I hate hecklers, (especially blog hecklers).
Calm down buddy and listen.
Jim Thome is the anti-superstar. He is the kind of athlete they should make a movie about. Jim Thome is, dare I say, a good role model.
ATHLETES MAKE TERRIBLE ROLE MODELS.
Stop shouting or I'll clear out this blog and put up a search engine.
Jim Thome has played 17 seasons and has never had an ill word written about him. He respects the game that has paid him nearly $100 million. He spends his money by putting all his nieces and nephews through college and donating time and money to children's hospitals. His peers voted him the nicest player in the league. He also offered to play for the Chicago Cubs at a rate well below his market value because that was his team as a kid growing up in Peoria, Illinois. The Cubs passed on the offer.
When asked what he would do with the 500th home run ball, he said his dad and him would take a trip and drive the ball to the Hall of Fame themselves. How cool is that?
STOP IT! I'M GONNA CRY.
I just want people to know that there are still athletes in this world that kids can look up to. I doubt Jim Thome will read this blog, but if he does I just want to say, Thank You. Not just for hitting home runs, but for being the kind of player I can tell my son about. I had chills when my son was imitating Jim Thome's 500th home run trot. Odds are my son will never play major league baseball. I am OK with that as long as he tries to be like Jim Thome in other areas of his life. That would be the best home run.
Friday, September 14, 2007
I have been getting some great feedback on this blog. I'm happy to provide you with a daily diversion. I told cousin Kathi last night that if I move people to laugh, cry or think I have done my job. But what if I cross that proverbial line of bad taste?
It wouldn't be the first time. My earliest memory of crossing the line was in 6th grade. I don't remember the exact infraction, but I do remember the teacher, Mrs. Cindy Flor, saying, "That is not appropriate." Or sometimes it would be, "That's inappropriate Mr. Plocharczyk." Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% positive I was in the wrong and Mrs. Flor was a great teacher. Its just sometimes I never see that damn proverbial line.
A big comedy mentor in my life, Danny Martin, from my days at the Muscular Dystrophy Summer Camp. His philosophy was, "It is easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission." This philosophy is best used in moderation I think.
But, I digress. I want to apologize upfront for anything I might say in this blog. And I mean really apologize, not like a pro athlete or a CEO apology when they say, "If you were offended/hurt I apologize." What they are really saying is, "For those who don't agree with me lighten up. I'm rich and you are insignificant to me, but my PR department felt this statement would help you feel better faster, by which you will return to buying my crap."
For those reading my blog. The opinions expressed here are solely my own. Well, I'm sure there are others who share some of my opinions. Like, I think adults who dress like babies are weird. That would seem like a popular opinion, so that opinion is not solely my own. I apologize for trying to horde opinions, really truly sorry, that's George Bush's job. Oops! I'm sorry for taking a jab at the President. I realize many like him, sorry Mr. Chaney, Ms. Rice and all oil company CEO's. Damn it! Sorry, I shouldn't go political that's just asking for trouble. I just realized I used the word "damn" twice. I, again, apologize this time for my salty language.
Apologizing, is not easy. I want to apologize for my poor attempt at apologizing, I'm sorry.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I have long believed that those in charge of entertaining us and informing us on television and movie theaters have run out of ideas. My beliefs are always reconfirmed with each new fall TV schedule.
I will admit upfront that I have not seen any of the new shows. I believe it is the TV networks job to make me want to see these shows. So far, this has not happened.
The Steve Wilkos Talk Show (Syndicated - If you are lucky it wont be in your area.)
What? You've never heard of Steve Wilkos? A man so highly qualified to be transmitted into our homes and disperse his form of tough love. Steve Wilkos was the chief of security of ....... the Jerry Springer Show and a Chicago Police officer.
I saw a commercial where he threatened a guest with a baseball bat. This is why Phil Donahue is not on the air any longer.
Cavemen (ABC - They have you trapped.)
Have you ever seen those Geico commercials where the pitch line is, "So easy a caveman could do it."? Well, then you've seen the new sitcom Cavemen. Only now the commercial is 30 minutes long. I hope at least Geico does something creative with their advertising to reflect to show.
Miss Guided (ABC - They still have you trapped.)
All I will say about this, Produced by Ashton Kutcher.
Celebrity Apprentice (NBC - Check your local listings)
Didn't the viewing public already fire Trump last year? Now "hair-boy" thinks if he has celebrities, and I use that term loosely, on the show we will want him back.
TRUMP, YOU'RE TIRED!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
With the passing of the sixth anniversary of Sept. 11th I would like to ask America, Where were you on 9/12? To me, those days following 9/11 were this country's, and dare I say the world's, finest.
I remember a truly unified country. There were no Republicans, Democrats, or Independents. There were no blacks, whites, Hispanics, Asians, or any other ethnicities. There were no gays, straights, bi's, or trans anything. There was no upper, lower, or middle class. There were no Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Jews, Atheists, or God fearing or no fearing. Nobody was disabled or able bodied.
There were Americans and there were people who felt our collective pain and wanted to help.
I remember hearing story after story of strangers helping strangers during one of the world's worst days. I remember feeling proud to be alive seeing humans acting like humans. I cried seeing the death and destruction, but I cried even harder for those doing the helping and the caring. I remember wanting to say Thank You to all of them.
I also remember the quiet. Being outside and hearing no airplanes or jets flying overhead. I remember imagining back to simpler days when the skies belonged only to the birds. I remember thinking that only a small percentage of our population could remember such quiet skies.
I was also sad because I knew those days would not last forever. Fingers would start pointing and blame being assessed. To soon those days came and have yet to go away. Since 9/11 there have been some very ugly days by all involved.
Since 9/11 I have seen many signs, posters, bumper stickers, car magnets and TV ads telling America not to forget 9/11. I think it would be impossible to forget 9/11, I know I never will. To me the real tragedy of 9/11 is that we have forgotten 9/12.
The following is a poem I wrote in the days following 9/11.
The darkest day of September
By Mark Plocharczyk
Red is for the blood of the injured and the dead.
White is for the fright of those who watched high above their heads.
Blue is for how all the world feels.
Together, these colors symbolize freedom, strength and unity,
Of people near and far, forming a new community.
Strangers once before, but never never again.
Searching praying hoping.
Crying trying coping.
Seeking someone, to them, unknown.
Some will have lived and some will have died.
Knowing each and everyone had fearlessly tried,
To turn a nightmare into a bad dream.
The darkest day of September,
One we’ll all remember.
In our hearts, in our prayers, and in our tears.
Learn from this moment.
Later may not come.
Now is the time to love.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Last night I went to "the boats". In Chicagoland vernacular that means I went to the riverboat casinos. I'm not a big gambler. For that matter I'm not any size gambler. I go for the entertainment of the experience. Last night was a family affair/memorial. Family was in from California, unfortunately, to say good-bye to a dear dear lady, Rita. We went in honor of Rita because Rita was a big gambler. Not that she would drop a C-note (see, I'm hip) on 23 red and let it ride, but she loved the thrill of a casino. So with Rita in our hearts and money in our hands we first visited The Empress then Harrahs.
I am a people watcher and the boats are a jackpot for people watchers. Aside from the Para Olympics Games, a Jimmy Swaggart revival tent, and BINGO nights at the local parish I don't think you can find a higher concentration of wheelchairs, walkers, and oxygen tanks.
The entrance to the casino floor is like a scene from the movie Cocoon. People being pushed in wheelchairs miraculously get up and walk to their favorite slot machine. There is something about the ding-ding-ding and flashing lights of a casino that brings out the eternal youth of the weak and elderly.
There are young people, old people, rich, poor, attractive, ugly, lucky, not so lucky and everything in between. All trying to win the big one.
My wife and I had a good night. We won a nice chunk on the Wheel of Fortune slot machine. We were high fiving just when the wheel spun, let alone hitting a $30 or $100 spot. We were floored when a woman next to us hit the $1000 spot and acted like she found a quarter in her old coat. Come on lady gimme something! We were equally floored when we were subjected to the 6 foot 350 pound man's butt crack. Come on man get a thong or overalls or something!
Rita would have loved the evening. She would have loved hearing that her brother-in-law, John, put his reward card in the money slot. She would have loved "butt crack guy". And her jaw would have dropped when she found out Wheel of Fortune lady blew her $1300 down to $9.
In the end we came out ahead. We left with more than we brought in, and I'm not just talking about money.
Monday, September 10, 2007
What do Brittney Spears and Osama Bin Laden have in common? Both had major video events in one weekend and both involved bombs.
First, welcome back to the video world Osama "Where Ya" Bin Lately. I will admit I have not read a transcript of "the latest" Moosama Bin Borwinkle video. I'm sure it says something about us Americans being bad people. Well, considering "the source" I've heard that diatribe before and quite frankly it's boring. It is my uneducated opinion that until Binny shows up on a video wearing a baseball cap from the most current World Series winner and reading his review of "Balls of Fury", I will refuse to believe he is alive. And for the countless drones who stand in line to be the next martyr; If being a martyr is such a great gig why has Charlie Bin LaDeeDa been hiding for the last six years instead of strapping on the latest fashion bomb(literally)?
Secondly, BRITTNEY SPEARS IS BACK! Well, sorta. I will admit, again, I did not see her comeback performance live. But, then again, nobody did (insert rim -shot here) either. Why why why do people continue accept her lip-syncing as singing? I will give her credit for a mother of two kids she looks great. As a dancer she looked like a hung-over mother of 20 kids. As a singer she looked like an old Clutch Cargo cartoon. As a stripper she looked like Osama Bin Laden (I ran out of analogies, sorry). I overheard Madonna saying, "Ouch!, That's not gonna help her career."
Ultimately, the pocketbooks of America will decided if either of the two video appearances will have any effect on anything.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Ahhhh, football season is here. Time for watching really large men run around and smash into each other, eating in front of the TV without worry of dropping or spilling, yelling inside with our outside voices, joining various games of chance, rushing home from church on Sunday to get your "game face" on, and being planted in front of a TV for 9 hours.
I was watching the NFL debut last night when just before half-time the sideline reporter made a comment about the significance of Tony Dungy being the first black coach to win the Super Bowl.
"Tony Dungy understands that his winning the Super Bowl transcends sports. But he told me that the seminal moment when he realized that was when his daughter Tiara, who just graduated Spelman College told him that her professors at school said that they had witnessed many historical events: Martin Luther King being put in jail, African Americans gaining voting rights; and they have equated Tony Dungy winning the Super Bowl with those monumental events.”
I will agree that Tony Dungy winning the Super Bowl was a great event in black history, but I really don't see it opening any doors for other blacks. Being the first black coach to win the Super Bowl really only benefits Dungy and his family. As is evident by his New York Times best selling book, Quiet Strength. Before the Super Bowl Dungy has no books listing him as the author.
Don't forget, Lovie Smith, a black man, was the losing coach in that same Super Bowl. Did he close the door that Dungy open? I don't know.
Jackie Robinson opened doors, Martin Luther King opened doors, Rosa Parks opened doors, countless others died trying to open doors for the black community. Tony Dungy won a football game.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Maybe last night you witnessed TV history. Fred Thompson announced that he is running for president of our great country. Um, hasn't he been running for months now? I swear I saw a poll with him as the GOP front runner well before last night.
Well, I did some research (I just Googled) and found 21 "official" GOP presidential candidates, 3 strong maybes, 2 quitters, and 8 who have declined to seek nomination. What the heck, let's make that last one 9, as I am officially declining to seek the GOP nomination.
After further research (OK, I Googled again), We also have 11 "official" Democrat presidential candidates, 2 strong maybes, 1 quitter, and 7 who have declined to seek nomination. What the heck, let's make that last one 8, as I am officially declining to seek the Democrat nomination as well.
In total, we have 32 people we will be forced to endure their "I'm the best" rhetoric for the next 14 months. Here is what I would do if I were running for president, which I've already stated I've declined to seek nomination so don't ask me. I would take notes of each party's candidate's comments about the other party's candidates. Then when it's down to two I would pull out my list of comments and say, "A member of your own party thinks you wear thongs as head pieces. How do you respond?"
Who knows maybe I will change my mind and run anyway. I just don't want to be left out.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
If you haven't heard yet, the "I'M NOT GAY", not that there's anything wrong with that, Senator from Idaho, Larry Craig, is reconsidering his decision to step down from the U.S. Senate. He also felt his decision to plead guilty was a bad one and his decision to not seek out counsel during his legal problem was not a good idea either.
Will this man make up his mind on something please?
Isn't it his party that jumps all over some Democrats for first voting for the war in Iraq and now say it was a bad idea and that they should not have voted for the war's funding?
We as voters have to realize we have ALL the power. Politicians, all of them, will take the side of whatever they feel will get them the most votes. We as voters should start to make this idea work for us. As a whole we should start demanding some crazy stuff. I would like every household to get a free pizza and a movie once a week. Or how about each household is granted a free cruise every three years. I will settle for free cable.
I no longer care, or ever did, about the toe-tapping-can-you-spare-a-queer senator from potato(e) land. But please stop wasting people's time with your flip-flopping. I wonder how long it takes him to get dressed in the morning or to order at Denny's?
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Often we see or hear of various miracles in the news. TV stations will show a variety of items people profess to be images of Jesus or The Virgin Mary. The reporters will often struggle to actually see what the believers see, and will leave it for the viewer to decide for themselves.
I've seen windows, trees, oil stains, salt stains, birthmarks, potato chips, corn chips, and a grilled cheese sandwich all containing an image of either Christ or the Virgin Mary. The people that own the items often make claim that they are seeing a miracle. I say, no. The miracle is not in what is being seen, the miracle is that people are seeing the icons of faith.
The world we live in today could be easily summed up as "confused". Wars, local violence, rampant images of sexuality, religious problems, world issues, health issues, financial problems, heroes lost, and Rosie O'Donnell/Donald Trump.
Yet, despite all the confusions, people are still able to see God. This is the miracle. Because if you have an image in your heart you will see it everywhere you look. I once saw a documentary about Elvis fans, Greetings From Graceland. In the movie a woman in line at Graceland carrying a photo of a cloud swore the cloud was an image of Elvis. She had Elvis in her heart. I guess I didn't because all I saw was a cloud.
I am glad people see Jesus in toast and Mary on blimps. Because that lets me know people have God in their hearts. We have to start somewhere, right?