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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Real Fountain of Youth.

Last night I went to "the boats". In Chicagoland vernacular that means I went to the riverboat casinos. I'm not a big gambler. For that matter I'm not any size gambler. I go for the entertainment of the experience. Last night was a family affair/memorial. Family was in from California, unfortunately, to say good-bye to a dear dear lady, Rita. We went in honor of Rita because Rita was a big gambler. Not that she would drop a C-note (see, I'm hip) on 23 red and let it ride, but she loved the thrill of a casino. So with Rita in our hearts and money in our hands we first visited The Empress then Harrahs.

I am a people watcher and the boats are a jackpot for people watchers. Aside from the Para Olympics Games, a Jimmy Swaggart revival tent, and BINGO nights at the local parish I don't think you can find a higher concentration of wheelchairs, walkers, and oxygen tanks.

The entrance to the casino floor is like a scene from the movie Cocoon. People being pushed in wheelchairs miraculously get up and walk to their favorite slot machine. There is something about the ding-ding-ding and flashing lights of a casino that brings out the eternal youth of the weak and elderly.

There are young people, old people, rich, poor, attractive, ugly, lucky, not so lucky and everything in between. All trying to win the big one.

My wife and I had a good night. We won a nice chunk on the Wheel of Fortune slot machine. We were high fiving just when the wheel spun, let alone hitting a $30 or $100 spot. We were floored when a woman next to us hit the $1000 spot and acted like she found a quarter in her old coat. Come on lady gimme something! We were equally floored when we were subjected to the 6 foot 350 pound man's butt crack. Come on man get a thong or overalls or something!

Rita would have loved the evening. She would have loved hearing that her brother-in-law, John, put his reward card in the money slot. She would have loved "butt crack guy". And her jaw would have dropped when she found out Wheel of Fortune lady blew her $1300 down to $9.

In the end we came out ahead. We left with more than we brought in, and I'm not just talking about money.

3 comments:

PeaKay40 said...

Just wanted to say that reading your blog is a real joy. I think perhaps you should take up a column in the paper. You could easily become one of the better columnists. Keep the stories coming they are enjoyed immensely

Scott Ploch said...

Reading the obituary of Rita was like wow. Good woman. Hope she would watch over me when I'm playing online poker.

Mark Ploch said...

She helped Donna win $280