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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Is Britney Dead Yet?

I realize the title of todays blog might be considered harsh, but isn't that what the media is waiting for?

This morning there was another headline that Britney Spears was rushed to the hospital earlier this morning. On Google there are over a thousand news links about her. A herd of photographers camp out near her house 24/7 for what? They are waiting for the meltdown and they all want the first picture.

For the record, I'm not a Britney fan. In my opinion, she was a manufactured singer that was very sexy looking at a very young age. The music genies made her sound good enough while the dancing gurus made her dance moves cover her lack of voice talent. She was surrounded by morons who kept telling her she was great. Next, she was given millions of dollars and told to go play. Mind you, the parents just loved the steady income.

To recap our celebrity disaster recipe:
1 pretty teenager
Millions of dollars
0 Parental Guidance
100's Photographers

Blend together with no regard to the teenager's soul.

If I were 16 year old millionaire with no parental control I would be a major screw up too. I think most would. With that said, in Britney's defense, I think the media has to share in the responsibility for her tumble downhill. They fall over and fight each other for the best story and/or picture. They can't sell magazines with Britney wearing a cap and gown at graduation. Unless, she's falling down drunk and there's nothing under the gown.

I think I would go a little bonkers if ever move I made was being watched. That's why I wear underwear everyday.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Sky Is Falling!

Those loud thumps you heard were two presidential campaigns crashing to the ground.
Edwards and Giuliani have decided to call it quits.

Edwards was too smooth and rich to win. He wanted to eliminate poverty, a good goal. I just don't think those in poverty trust the rich, as Edwards. They don't share any of the same experiences. It would be like an obese person trying to eliminated anorexia.

Giuliani ran out of 9/11 gas. He was a great leader during a very dark time in U.S. history, but we have moved on. I'm not saying we are forgetting about 9/11, I'm just saying we are not afraid of 9/11 anymore. We're like Boo from the movie Monsters Inc. In the end she was no longer afraid, neither are we.

So we are down to the final four, no disrespect to the other remaining candidates.. Clinton, Obama, McCain and Romney. Who will say the wrong thing to blow the nomination?

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Sweatin' To The State of The Union

Like the good Americans that we are, last night my wife Donna and I fired up the 55 inch HDTV and turned on the Dolby sound system. We let Jimmy stay up late. We all dressed up like our favorite Americans. Donna was Betsy Ross, Jimmy was Ben Franklin, and I was Jared from the Subway commercials. We got out the snacks and drinks as we prepared to watch the President's State of The Union. We laughed, we cried, we thanked God we are Americans. When it was over we read Jimmy the Constitution and went to sleep.

(Fade To Reality)

Truth be told Donna was packing away the last of the Christmas decorations, I was burning a CD of birthday songs for Donna, and Jimmy was reading some books before lights out. We missed the first 15 to 20 minutes of the Address.

I, personally, didn't feel sad that this was Bush's last Address. Hopefully, the next one will be more interesting.

It is always easy to see how divided the government is by watching the State of The Union. Just watch who stands and who doesn't during ovations throughout the speech. Here's some examples;

Mention the troops - everybody up.
Mention reissuing terrorist spying techniques - Republicans up, Democrats sit

Each year there is so much up and down during the speech I expect to see Richard Simmons out in front encouraging the lawmakers to sweat. That is everyone except the Supreme Court Justices. They don't move for anything.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Divided We Fall

As I watch the Presidential election run I can't help but shake my head.

Clinton and Obama are clearly the Democrat's front runners. Edwards is learning, first-hand, what it means to be a minority. He's like the little brother that keeps tagging along, but nobody will play with him.

I'm just concerned that when the primary process is over can the Democratic Party truly unite to defeat the GOP?

The GOP is even worse. I understand each person wants to win the party's nomination, but at what cost? There you have 5 guys battling each other for votes so there's 5x the rhetoric and grandstanding. I think the GOP thinks the citizens of the U.S. are happy. These guys don't fill their own tanks.

When it's all over they are all going to have to be friends. We the people, are going to be the casualties of their election wars. I hope and pray the country will again start to move forward.

Friday, January 25, 2008

911 or Mary-Kate Olsen, Potato Patato

I can't help but be drawn in to the weirdness of the human brain. As a father of a 4.5 year old boy I am amazed at how quickly my son can pick up things he sees and hears (Exhibit A). I'm equally amazed that I have repeat somethings over and over again and he still doesn't remember. I guess the brain learns what the brain wants. As a parent you always hope and pray you are doing a good job.

For example. My wife was picking up our son from school the other day. Jimmy noticed a book of matches had been left out in the open after an earlier birthday celebration. My wife said he went directly to his teacher to inform her of this serious situation. This is the type of moment that makes a parent very proud.

With all that said I just have wonder what the masseuse that found actor Heath Ledger was thinking when she found him unresponsive Wednesday. She felt that this emergency required the help of an expert, Mary-Kate Olsen. Yes, Mary-Kate Olsen of the Olsen twins and of the show "Full House" fame. She called her three times before calling 911.

I did some research on Mary-Kate and could not find any evidence that she has any emergency training that could validate anyone calling her in an emergency. Maybe there was some emergency training for her role in "You're Invited To Mary-Kate & Ashley's Greatest Parties". You never know when someone might choke on a S'more during a pillow fight.

The 911 system has been available since 1968 and was officially put in place nationally in 1999. Kids are taught in schools to dial 911 and not celebrities in case of an emergency. How does this masseuse explain herself? We need a crack detective to solve this case.

I'll call Hannah Montana.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Something Positive

Bloggers get a bad rap for being too negative. Well, I'm gonna try to be a more positive force in this world.

I want to use my powers for good not evil.

In the world, society generally thinks government is a corrupt bunch of doofuses (wait for the positive). Well, in Illinois our great state did at least one amazing thing this year.

Smoking is banned indoors, period.

All public indoor facilities are now smoke free zones.
When you go into a restaurant the choice of smoking or non-smoking is no longer an option.
The best example of how great this law is would be a trip to one of Illinois' riverboat casinos. In the past the air would be thick with smoke. My eyes would start watering almost instantly. My throat would get scratchy and my voice would start to sound like Barry White with a cold. And that was just the first 5 minutes. But, the yucky feeling didn't end when you left the boat. The stench would follow you home. It would cling to every fiber of you clothes and hair.

But now going to the boat is like taking a walk in the forest. Albeit a forest with dinging slot machines and cocktail waitresses, but fresh air a plenty. Now I don't mind so much losing my money. At least I'm not losing lung capacity.

I'm sorry if my smoking readers don't like this new law. I'm sorry you smoke. I wish you my best in trying to quit. Try this link for help,

So there is my positive blog, have a nice day.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I'll Still Take A Regular Hershey Bar

I started writing a blog last night about being nice and not complaining as much. Well, that blog is gonna have to wait a day.

I'm sure by now you've heard the news that Heath Ledger was found dead yesterday.
The media is blowing this way out of proportion. They are are using words like Tragedy, Sad and World Mourns. I doubt the soldiers in Iraq are weeping or families still houseless from hurricane Katrina are stopping to mourn this actor's passing.

It is sad and tragic to his family and friends. His two year old daughter no longer has a father, that is sad. But to the rest of the world he was just a moving picture on a screen, be it large or small.

I'm sure there are some fans out there that may have been moved by one of his 23 movies. For the record I saw one maybe two of his movies, I might have seen parts of A Knight's Tale on cable but I'm not sure. Personally, I think the estate of Mr. Ledger owes me $8 and 2 hours of my life back for seeing the over hyped Brokeback Mountain, but I'll let it slide.

I refuse to get sad and mournful when actors die. The only reason I know of them is from their movies. If I want to see them again I'll just update my Queue list on Netflix. POOF! There they are.

Every morning my son and I watch Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. I know he's dead, but to my son and I for 30 minutes each day he's alive as can be. Death is only the end if we forget those who have died.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Happy New Year

Boy does time fly. I want to apologize to my regular reader(s) for not posting anything new for over a month. Truth is, I haven't had anything interesting to say.

Sadly, my Grandmother passed away last month. She was 12 days short of 100 years. I still have a hard time imagining all the changes she saw in her life since 1907. She was a great lady that I miss very much.

Christmas came and went so fast. I think Santa has moved his North Pole operations to China. I also think more elves have gone into dentistry, ala Hermie (or is it Herbie?), than quality control. So many of Jimmy's toys have broken already and not because of hard play. In one instance a guitar, not a cheap one, broke just sitting there by itself. Scared the confetti out of me.

Over New Years Donna and Jimmy went to California to see the Rose Bowl Parade while visiting with cousins Mary Lou & John. They all had a great time. California got to experience the energy source known as Jimmy. The seismographs are still off kilter.

The primary elections have finally started. It's clear that nobody knows who they want to be president. Here is how I see things. Picking a candidate is like leasing a new car. They are all the same just slightly different models and colors, and in the end they all take you for a ride.

"I'm looking for a liberal candidate. Do you have that in brown ?"

Four years ago the country decided to extend its lease on an old gas guzzler that blew out a lot of smoke and left oil stains on our driveways.

Monday, January 21, 2008