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Thursday, January 29, 2009

This Just Out

As FORMER Governor Rod Blagojevich would say, "The fix is in".
I agree with FORMER Governor Rod Blagojevich.

The fix's name is Governor Patrick Quinn.

I listened to FORMER Governor Rod Blagojevich's "defense" statement. It was just a 30 minute recap of his New York news junket.

Well enough about hair boy.

How about a T-shirt, cup, or thong to commemorate this historical occasion.

Check out my Hasta La Vista Blago collection.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Reality Check, Please!

I'm a voyeur and I admit.

In this world of reality TV being a voyeur is easy and less creepy. I'm not sure why I enjoy reality TV. Maybe it's because being in a wheelchair people are always steering at me and reality TV gives me the opportunity to turn the tables. With that quick psychoanalysis aside, let's talk TV.

I do watch American Idol. I equally enjoy the first few weeks of each season, when they highlight the losers, as the final weeks. After 8 seasons, though, all the singers start sounding the same to me. I still haven't seen any of those real angry losers that sing like cats with their tails in an electrical outlet anywhere. The ones that get told they can't sing and they storm off giving people the finger saying,

"Those judges don't know anything. You'll see, I'll be back and I'll laugh in Simon's face."

Still have not seen them anywhere.

There are other reality TV shows that you may not have seen that are oddly entertaining. For example, True Beauty, ABC Monday's at 9PM (Central). The concept, take really physically attractive people and tell them you're judging their looks. What the pretty people don't realize is that they are also being judged on their inner beauty. They have undercover actors fake problems to see how they react. If you enjoy seeing the ugly underbelly of the pretty people of the world, this show is for you. The sad part about this show is that we see how the world treats people who are deemed attractive. The attractive people will always be treated better. But, it is sweet to see them get put into their place just once. Being one of the unattractive people of the world, I love this show.

I caught a small glimpse of Confessions of A Teen Idol, VH1, the other night and was laughing at how far down producers will go to scrape the bottom of the barrel. The concept, group together a bunch of pretty boy has beens to discuss why they are has beens. The quality of this show can be summed up in two words. Adrian Zmed (that's not a joke).

I don't dig the Duggers. The Duggers are the family with 18 children. Their reality TV show is called 17 Kids and Counting, TLC, they can't even name the show correctly there're so many kids. The show follows the life of the Duggers and what it is like to have 18 kids. The family is very conservative Christian. No drinking, dancing, kissing, sex before marriage, debt, and television.


A family that limits the watching of television has a television show. That seems a wee bit hypocritical to me. This weekend the family's oldest son got married to the girl he swears he never even kissed. Abstinence is fine. But this family is so preoccupied with no sex they end up talking about sex a lot. Very weird to me. At their son's wedding they also made a point about not drinking alcohol. Being Christians they knowing that Jesus had made water into wine they had to explain why they don't allow drinking. They rewrite the bible to mean that Jesus really made "grape juice" not wine. Must be nice to be so above the rest of us that you can rewrite the bible.

The Duggers are not the first people to have a HUGE family. They're just the first to do it on TV. I have a friend who is one of 15 kids. The Fender family (not their real names) had 15 kids. They raised their kids in a house built for 5 people at the most. No TV show, no rewritting the bible and dancing is fine. I'll hang with the Fenders thank-you. Their parties are more fun.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Good Will Thwarting?

Last week at this time every TV show was buzzing about Illinois' Barack Obama. This morning TV shows are buzzing about Illinois' Rod Blagojevich. Talk about your Yin and Yang.

Blagojevich has been talking to every open microphone and video camera available since last Friday. He even took 30 minutes at a McDonalds drive-thru after the employee asked him want he wanted.

He has been talking a lot about how the now famous quotes taken from federal tapes are being heard "out of context". When people get caught saying bad things they always say they are being quoted "out of context". I can't wait to hear the whole context that makes, "I got this thing and it's bleepin' golden. I'm just not giving it up for bleepin' nothing," a good quote.

Blagojevich is also big on pointing out that the Illinois Senate is "thwarting the will of the people" that twice elected him governor. Well, since Blagojevich is so big on context, let's look at his two elections.

His first election was against a man named Jim Ryan. The state had just gone through a Republican George Ryan (no relation) who had sold anything that wasn't nailed down. His actions got six kids killed.

His re-election was against Judy Baar Topinka. She may have been qualified to run, but she was a terrible campaigner. Plus, Illinois was still stinging from past GOP elected officials. She never had a chance against the well funded Democrats.

So while it's true he was elected twice, and I admit I voted for him both times, the Democratic Party could have put up a wedge of cheese and would have still won both elections. I'd vote for cheese any day of the week, especially a nice creamy havarti cheese. But, I digress.

As Blagojevich claims the "will of the people is being thwarted", I'm just curious where all these people are. I've not seen or heard of anybody being thwarted, and we all know how painful that can be.

I just wonder who from Illinois will the nation be talking about next week.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Friday, January 16, 2009


Get your Chia Blago while supplies last.

Only $14,999.99

This thing is golden.

You're not getting this for free you Mo Fos.

*Parachute Sold Separately

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Idol Worship Or Clear Air?

I was reading some comments to my blog from the other day, What Am I Missing?

And there was the fear in the Republican mindset that Obama will not be criticized because he is being "worshiped" by the left and the media. I thought about this and tried to understand where this fear is coming from.

I agree that Obama is being welcomed with wide opened arms by many in the media. Personally, I don't find anything wrong with that, but it is unusual, until you think about it.

The world has been under a cloud for eight years. Eight long depressing ass backward years. The world has had to look to George W. Bush for guidance and leadership. Bush is a dumb person. Bush is a muppet for the GOP. Bush needs more handlers than a Bullwinkle balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade during a hurricane. But, he is, soon to be was, President of the United States. The office demands respect. But, how can you respect this man who clearly was never qualified to fill the position. Add the shadow of doubt as to how he was elected and you've got the makings of a bad eight year headache.

Now, by the genius of term limits, the nail-in-the-forehead migraine is going away and by law can never ever come back, ever. Who is going to replace him? A well educated, good speaking, independently speaking breathe of fresh air. Barack Obama could not be more different than George W. Bush. This is why everybody is hyperventilating over him, they can breathe again. I think Obama was elected because he is so different than all politicians, Democrat or Republican.

Will Obama be judged fairly is a major concern of Republicans. I believe once the air pressure equalizes Obama will be judged under a micro-fine microscope. We all know how the media is famous for building a house of cards just so they can knock it down. So all you conservatives relax, Obama will get his share of scrutiny.

So breathe deeply America.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Illinois, Land of Lincoln & Dumbass

I have lived in Illinois all my life. I have always felt that living in the Midwest was the best place to live. It is where the good, nice and caring people lived. Even in the big city of Chicago, while the pace was faster, the people where generally good and nice. New York City prides itself on being hard and tough. Los Angeles is a city that prides itself on self. Chicago, to me, always seemed filled with people who still cared about the other people around them.

Its like the geography itself acted like a filter to keep out the undesirable aspects of society. Here we would look at what crazy things and people were happening and doing on the coasts and shake our heads. We would shake our heads because we knew better.

We were proud of Abraham Lincoln. Chicago was once the center of all things business and entertainment. In simpler things we could boast some of the best athletes and teams in the world. And recently we have Barack Obama to raise our pride levels once again.

Then there was Rod Blagojevich.

This clown has made Illinois a punch line in jokes all around the world. I'm not so naive to say that corruption wasn't going on before Rodo the Clown. Chicago is familiar to corruption, just not so blatant ignorant stupid corruption.

Rodo the Clown knew he was under investigation, yet "allegedly" continued his questionable activities. The DAYS BEFORE he was arrested he joked about being taped having conversations. And based on comments from the federal investigators Rodo the Clown, while being taped "allegedly" told his underlings, "don't use your cell phones you might be getting taped."

Here was the first wave of jokes,

And the funny email,

Now you can buy the Governor.

Personally, I think Rodo the Clown loves the attention. How else can you explain the actions of this yo-yo?

Friday, January 09, 2009

What Am I Missing?

I usually don't like to beat dead horses, but I'm still confused why some think Obama was gifted the White House.

I came across the below video and I was amazed that Palin still thinks the media railroaded her.
Watch the video.

The person interviewing her obviously has a crush on her. Read this article he wrote about the interview here.

Palin is a nice person. I like her, I really do. I just don't believe she was world leader material.
Only Republicans believed she was world leader material. Those are the same Republicans who created the mess we are in now (I know, I know the Democrats helped too).

The conservatives of this country better come to grips with the fact that Obama was elected overwhelmingly, I repeat overwhelmingly, because he was the most qualified person to move this country forward. Tina Fey was imitating a person. Katie Couric was interviewing a person.
A person not qualified to be Vice President of the U.S. as decided by a majority of her peers.

End of story.

It's over.

Let it go.

Bye Bye.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

One Last Look At 2008

I found these videos to be quite funny.

Go Away Sarah Palin

2008 A Musical Review

Thursday, January 01, 2009

The 2009 We Will Soon Know

This past week I have been in deep seclusion trying to create a list of predictions for the new year. I have always wanted to do this, but have never been summoned by "the other world" to help me. Plus, I figure if that whack job "prophet" in Utah can do it, so can I.

The Economy
Clearly this is what people are most concerned about. This is what I foresee.
The government is going to release a stimulus package that gives ever registered voter $1 million. This will cause a mass retirement. Florida and Arizona will become the most populated states. The cruise industry will boom as will Greek owned family restaurants. Prime time TV will begin at 5PM. Most products will need to be made outside our borders due to lack of a workforce. But, Taiwan will become the 51st state so we can still sell "Made In the USA" items from Walmart and the Oriental Trading catalog.

Paris Hilton will be found out to have no entertaining value. Crushed by this news she will marry and Cohost a new reality show with Gary Colemen tentatively titled, "What You Talking About Hilton?". The show will follow the newlyweds as they travel the world staying in Daddy's finest hotels. Ironically the show will be sponsored by Holiday Inn Express.

Oprah's show will loose some thunder when she hires a llama to cohost. The new show theme song will be as follows:

Tom Cruise and Katy Holmes will divorce when Holmes discovers that Scientology is a totally made up "religion". In divorce court Cruise will begin talking to his hand who he believes is the risen Xenu. In the end he sells the movie rights to his divorce case and makes millions with his screenplay, "Cruisen for A Bruisen".

Sporting News
The New York Yankees do not win the World Series and apply for a government bailout.

The Cubs do not even make it to the regular season. Major League Baseball disbands the organization for being a failure for 100 years.

The White Sox win the World Series.

The Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup and precede to put former owner's ashes on their home ice and skate all over him.

Barack Obama includes in his inaugaration speach a 10 minute bit about how you know Sarah Palin is a redneck.

Congress passes legislation stating the George W. Bush was not president, but just a goofy experiment gone wrong. Issues world wide apology.

Peace is finally reached in the Middle East when Isreal and the Palestineans decide to let American Idol voters decide their fate. They also uncover documents detailing that their differences were all based on a mispelled word.

Hillary Clinton is found on many occassions pretending to be president in the Oval office.

My blog is featured as her llama's favorite. I finally get my shot to be a Skype guest. Sadly, I have a terrible case of gas which gets me cut off her show.