My Facebook Thoughts

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

But wait, there's more.

To me politicians are a lot like those infomercial salesmen, minus the British accents. When they are selling their products, it is the greatest invention since wiper blades. I, myself, have had to be physically restrained from buying the Hot Dog Toaster, the Fish Pen, and the Stick Up Bulb.

For those of us who live in the great state of Illinois we are seeing another infomercial for CASINO CAN. Illinois, for the record, does not allow gambling. Well, except for those 9 riverboats, 7 horse racing tracks, 13 off track betting parlors, and state lottery.

For whatever reason Illinois does not think land based casinos would be good for the state. I'm also guessing that the Illinois lawmakers have not been to the riverboats I've been to. To call these places boats is like calling Brittney Spears a singer. These "boats" don't and can't move. I'm going to assume they are on water, even though you can't see any.

Now the public transportation services in the Chicagoland area are in a huge financial crisis. Hundreds of millions of dollars are needed to solve the problem. Where oh where will the money come from?

CASINO CAN, that's right ladies and gentlemen CASINO CAN is the all purpose financial fixer. CASINO CAN will dump so much money into the state treasury you will have to give some away.

What? You are worried about the additional crime that will come with CASINO CAN.
No worries, with your extra revenue you can just hire more police.
CASINO CAN will make your state the crown jewel of the Midwest.

But wait, there's more.

CASINO CAN will also resurrect the sluggish mob activity in Chicago. It will be just like that popular TV show, The Sopranos.

Call your state representative today and ask for CASINO CAN. Greedy legislators are standing by.

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