Over the weekend I saw a news alert that Tiger Woods had been seriously injured in a car accident. I, like many, who have a great deal of respect for TW was genuinely concerned for his health. As time passed, the world breathed a sigh of relief that he was going to be OK.
Now we want to know the details. TW isn't really being that open about the incident that required police and a trip to the hospital. Here is the only statement from TW.
As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore.
This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.
Sure you deserve privacy, but you're a celebrity and we want to know ALL the "embarrassing" details.
- At 2:30AM TW drives away from home.
- Hits fire hydrant
- Hits tree
- Wife uses golf club to free TW
- A 911 call was made
- Police arrive
- Medical assistance arrive
- TW's privacy is now the world's #1 obsession
In light of factual evidence we are forced to fill in the blanks ourselves.
1. Why was TW leaving his home at 2:30AM?
a. to go work out
b. running away from home
c. running away from an enraged jealous wife
d. he was hypnotized to drive away when hearing code word, Zokvelt
2. Why did he hit the fire hydrant?
a. he was trying to text on his cell phone
b. he was swerving to miss a squirrel
c. he was trying to shake his wife off the hood of his car
d. he hates green fire hydrants, and think they should be red or removed
3. Why did his wife use a golf club to rescue TW?
a. she saw TW unconscious
b. she wanted to finish the jealous rage she started
c. in their neighborhood golf clubs are laying all over the ground
d. her caddy suggested that versus a rock
4. What caused TW's injuries?
a. he hit his head after pin-balling off the fire hydrant and tree
b. his wife worked him over in a jealous rage over rumors she'd heard on TV
c. he cut himself like pro wrestlers do to appear more injured
d. TW is really a vampire. (TW = TWilight, coincidence? Maybe)
5A. If he paid $2.4 million for his house shouldn't he have more space?
5B. Why is Wesley Snipes' house right on top of TW's house.
6. What type of club did his wife use, an iron, a wood or putter?
7. Why is Oprah retiring?
8. Paris Hilton?
The world is waiting Mr. Woods the world is waiting.