My Facebook Thoughts

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Gone With Wind

Have you heard the news?

Former Sleezeball Governor Rod Blagojevich's book is in stores earlier than expected.

I have not nor do I plan to read his fictional tale about his time as our "Governor". I'm sure Blago comes out smelling like a rose in his version of what happened.

Since his version of reality will no doubt be slightly askew, so will mine.

Chapter 1:
Blago tells us the story of his birth. His pregnant mother rode on a donkey while his father checked to see if the were any rooms at the Holiday Inn. Being completly booked due to a plumber's convention in town Blago was born in the Lincoln Park Zoo.

Chapter 2:
A musical prodigy, at the age of 4 he wrote Are You Lonesome Tonight? for Elvis Presley.
And dictated Green Eggs And Ham to Theodor Geisel.

Chapter 3:
Writes letter to friend Paul McCartney advising him that his band, The Beatles, have gone as far as they can go and they should breakup. In the same letter tells Paul he will wear his hair like the early Beatles forever more.

Chapter 4:
Plays the Triangle in the Chicago Bears Super Bowl Shuffle video.

Chapter 5:
Fearing black flying squirrels Blago describes how at night he would put on a black flying squirrels cape and mask to descend on the evil doers of Gotham.

Chapter 6:
Wins 6 NBA championships as a member of the Chicago Bulls. The total would have been 8, but Michael Jordan, jealous of Blago's basketball skills, quits basketball for two years saying, "If I can't be as could a Blago, I'd rather play baseball." Blago agrees to play the remainder of his career on his knees, Jordan returns.

Chapter 7:
Blago teaches Sammy Sosa how to build bulk using only a Thigh Master and a spoon. He mentions about the time he was called in to bat for the Cubs. Whereby he hit a homerun to help the Cubs make it to the playoffs. And the time he followed Steve Bartman and told him never to return to Wrigley Field, EVER.

Chapter 8:
In an exciting chapter he tells us how he and Donald Trump went to Iraq Saddam Hussain. They actually bring him down with a can of hairspray and Big Mac.

Chapter 9:
Tells how he was forced out of his Governor's office, by herd of Huns hell bent on using Illinois as the new capitol of their new Empire.

As far as I can tell that is how Blago will see the truth.


bill said...


the only thing you may have missed would be the chapter about his wife.

Mark Ploch said...

I didn't want to give it all away.

PeaKay40 said...

Like I said before.........
You missed your calling you should
have gone into journalism.
Well put, print it on you Facebook
page. Send it to the newspapers.
Thanks for a few min. of good reading.

Anonymous said...