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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Deep Fried, Say No More

(Disclaimer: This blog should not be read by health conscious readers.)

One of the traditions we have for Labor Day weekend is visiting the Blueberry Festival in Plymouth Indiana.

This is a festival like many across the country. There are hundreds of crafts booths. You can buy T-shirts with funny sayings or beautiful artwork. You can buy delicious food spreads for your next party.
Need a fanny-pack? They got it.
Hot tub? Got it!
A special cooking tool specifically designed to help you flip your meat? They're there.

Then there are the people. You will see people from every demographic category within 5 minutes of arriving at the festival. Big, tall, bigger, short, bigger still, pretty, pretty big, plain, and me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not picking on them, its just an excellent place to people watch. As people go, I'm as watchable as any of the ones I watch.

The next great thing about the fest is the FOOD!

If it can be cooked it can be found at a festival this size. But, each year one particular food vendor has intrigued me. Like a mysterious ghost calling me I just had to visit this booth this year.

The sign above the vendor's wagon was simple, DEEP FRIED CANDY.
Yes, two of my favorite food types combined, deep fried food and candy.
When you approach the menu, yes they had a menu, your mind begins to frazzle at the thought. Alone, a Snickers, Milkey Way or 3 Musketeers bar is a wonderful treat. And when I say treat, I, of course, mean 1 per year, ahem. But, these culinary vixens didn't stop with candy bars, they went an extra mile and two tenths. They were offering a DEEP FRIED TWINKIE.

(File Photo: Not The Actual Deep Fried Twinkie)

I am but one weak man. Not even my wife or mother-in-law could prevent what was about to happen (especially since my mother-in-law was buying).

I ordered one deep fried Twinkie, ON A STICK (sorry, forgot to mention the stick before), with the optional powdered sugar (might as well, right?).

I am not a food critic, but I'll do my best here.

To visualize a deep fried Twinkie you'll have to imagine a short corn dog on steroids. The Twinkie is impaled with a stick and then dipped into a batter. The batter is not unlike what a Funnel Cake, also good festival eats, would be made with. The now batter-covered Twinkie is dipped into a boiling bath of grease until golden brown. A few minutes later, a few shakes of powdered sugar and there it sits before me.

Now, if you know me, you know I enjoy food. I like to think I know what tastes good. I'm not talking healthy foods, just what tastes good.

What struck me immediately about the deep fried Twinkie, no not a heart attack, was that it smelled like fish. With almost any food, even fish, you really don't want your food to smell like fish, most importantly, not a deep fried Twinkie.

While the deep fried Twinkie didn't actual taste bad or even taste like fish, you can't help but wonder, WHY does my deep fried Twinkie smell like fish? I wish I could tell you, but alas I cannot.

I did eat 90% of my deep fried Twinkie. I can tell you I probably will never eat a deep fried Twinkie again. I wont say it was bad, but I also can't say it was good either.

But, I can say I have eaten a deep fried Twinkie.


bill said...


they may have gotten a deal on some used vegetable oil?

Mark Ploch said...

I'd rather not know.

Cousin Linda said...

Right before your order they made some deep fried smelt-on-a-stick. Sooooo funny.

Scott Plocharczyk said...

You forgot to mention the funniest thing about Blueberry Festival: They don't have any blueberries.

Tara said...