My Facebook Thoughts

Thursday, December 18, 2008

'Til Death Do Us Part (Can I Get A 40 Year Warranty On That?)

For anyone who was ever married the vow, 'til death do us part, is usually just a formality. But, I think the newest soon-to-be, Mrs. Drew Peterson, might want to check the fine print on that vow.

If you haven't heard Cupid has shot (allegedly) Drew Peterson and his newest fiancee. All we know about her is that she is 23 years old. I'm guessing she must be Amish (allegedly) and has no access to current media technology.

My neck is sore from shaking it in disbelief. Drew Peterson's publicist, (how many scumbags (allegedly) have publicists?), did not release the woman's name. I will call her Ali Gedly.

Imagine Ali bringing Drew home to meet Mr. & Mrs. Gedly.

Ali: Mom, Dad. I'd like like you to meet my new fiancee Drew.
Mrs. Gedly: OH OUR LITTLE GIRL IS GE T T I n g m a r
--Thump!--
Mr. Gedly: Ali, do you know who he is and what he has done (allegedly)?
Ali: Sure. I know he's had some tough breaks (allegedly).
Mr. Gedly: Not as bad of breaks his last two wives have had (allegedly).
Ali: I don't care, I love him and were going to be married, right Drewpy Bear?
Drewpy Bear: Uh, yeah, right baby. Say how old is your sister?

Let's go with the facts.
He's 54.
He was 31 when Ali Gedly was born.
He's been married 4 times.
2 out of 4 of his ex wives are dead or missing. (That's a bad %)

I don't get it, I don't get it at all. Is every last available man on earth gone? (Come to think of it I haven't heard from my single guy friends in a while, I'd better call them.)

When I was single I tried to put out a nice guy vibe instead of the marry and divorce, marry and divorce, marry and "divorce", and marry and "divorce" vibe. I treated women with respect. I dated some nice women (I won't list names. Don't want to embarrass the one I mean ones who passed up this deal). I married the best one. It's been 18 years. Almost the same age as Ali Gedly. My wife is still quite alive.

I guess I'm just old fashioned (fact).

9 comments:

Scott Ploch said...

Adding to the madness
http://www.suntimes.com/news/peterson/1335376,drew-peterson-engaged-stacy-121708.article

Mark Ploch said...

I wrote my blog before this new info came out.

How stupid they all are.

Scott Ploch said...

Does this man have a 12 inch electric schlong in his pants? "All my female friends are calling me saying the media are calling."
What part of four divorces and two dead or missing wives don't they understand?
At least the dad sees it.

bill said...

wow, what a lady killer (allegedly).

Mark Ploch said...

He is a former cop who preys on young insecure girls. He could never find an intellectual woman his own age, they can read.
"Last time I had a relationship, you guys screwed it all up," he said

Yeah, the reporters are telling these little girls the truth.

Scott Ploch said...

I guess women are dying to meet him

Mar said...

Excuse me a minute..need to drive my Death Mobile into Drew's love palace at ramming speed. Drew needs a babysitter, not a wife.

Mark Ploch said...

Well, he is an attractive grandpa type guy.

Mar said...

Amazingly, the grandpa act still works. Who wouldda thunk? Bet he and the new bride get working on a new litter of kids. That'll get his spirits up (and something else).