My Facebook Thoughts

Monday, October 22, 2007

To Pee Or Not To Pee

I thought all those FAMILY restrooms popping up were being created for me. I don't mind sharing MY family restrooms with mothers or fathers who have kids in tow. But the needs are growing, read on.

When my wife and I are out and nature calls me it can be a problem. If we are at a mall, for example, we will check to see if the women's restroom is accessible. If it is, I then will swiftly follow her to the targeted stall while trying not to make eye contact with any ladies that might already be in there. I'm not embarrassed for myself mind you, but for the women who now see a man in their most sacred of territories. The looks I get range from total avoidance to complete bewilderment.

SIDENOTE: To all men who are weirdly curious about the inner workings of the womens restroom, forget all your fantasies. There are, amazingly, no long legged super models lounging around in lingerie or college cheerleaders prancing about. It's all a sham! Their restrooms stink just as bad as ours do or worse. My theory is that because women are not expected to, shall we say, lower their internal air pressure, in public. They save all their efforts for the ladies room. Thus concentrating their output. Whereas, men are not held to such a high standard so they will dissipate air more freely.

Back to my main point. More and more we have been seeing the FAMILY restroom. This is generally a single use bathroom with a lockable door. Finally, I don't have slither into a ladies room fearful some Grandmother might keel over seeing a man in the restroom. Or worse, Grandma forgets to close the stall door. I found these restrooms to be a God send for both sexes.

But now I'm reading that MY FAMILY restroom is also being used by Gender Challenged individuals. You see there are some people who feel the need, be it biologically or socially, to dress as the opposite sex. And they gather confused looks from fellow restroom users who don't understand that Johnny Linebacker needs to dress like his Aunt Sophie. Hey, I'm a hip guy. I'm all for people feeling comfortable in their own skin. But, if Johnny Linebacker still looks like Dick Butkus after he's all dolled up, maybe dressing up like Aunt Sophie is not a good idea after all.

I'm also selfish. If the fact that there are more and more Johnny Linebacker's out there garners me more FAMILY restrooms I'm all for your fruffy idiosyncrasies. To help us all there is even a web site, Safe 2 Pee, that will help us all plot out out potty stops.

Go forth young men and women or vise versa to be free to pee.
(Insert Star-Spangled Banner here)


Scott Ploch said...

What no shout out for giving you some quality info for your blog?
I smell lawsuit. By the way I've been in women's bathrooms with couches, very nice.

Mark Plocharczyk said...

Truthfully, I had read about that web site the day before you sent it to me.
Great minds think alike.

The couches are just big potpourri pouches to cover the smell.