Sometimes as a witty blogger I have to put on my journalist's hat.
Some disturbing information has been sent to me regarding what was really behind the recent Chicago Marathon tragedy. A group calling themselves All-Catered has claimed responsibility for the dangerous situation. The group describes themselves as people who are against people who exercise, stay fit, and otherwise lead healthy lifestyles.
In, what can only be described as a Manafeasto, All-Catered is a group of apathetic sedentary overweight Frito munching couch potatoes. They are opposed to all things organic, green, fat-free, repetitive, pulse raising, motivational, and anything ending in "cise". They go on to say that if things can't be done via the phone, internet, delivery, drive-thru, room service, cable or satellite dish it ought not be done. (You know they are serious when they use a word like ought.) They continue with, the only type of marathons they acknowledge are Seinfeld, Beauty and the Geek, Rhoda, The Golden Girls, The Simpsons, and Cops.
Using WMD's ,weapons of mass dehydration, this group covertly spilled the cups of water that were meant for the runners. Thereby creating the dangerous situation.
I pressed their leader Asiago Bottom as to when they might strike again. He said probably never as doing another attack would be repetitive which goes against what they believe in. I was provided the their video. (The content might be disturbing to some.)