Stand Back Or I'll Hum A Few Bars

I was looking at newspapers online yesterday and came across an article about Beyonce's new music video, "Single Ladies". The article was about whether or not the video was or was not sexist. I didn't care about that aspect of the article. But, I did Google the video to see what the big deal was. See for yourself:



Now I am not a huge Pop music guy. I know who Beyonce is, but so what. If one of her songs was playing or say Rihanna's I couldn't tell you the difference. This blog is not about Beyonce.

A few hours after listening to "Single Ladies" I caught myself humming the beat and mumbling, "put a ring on it."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

BEYONCE CREATED AN EARWORM!

I'm the last guy in the world you would expect to humming and singing a Beyonce song, but there I was. These songs are called earworms. They get in your head and drive you crazy.

"Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it"

You will be doing normal everyday things and bam! Your humming the KitKat jingle, "Gimme a break, gimme a break.."

We should be booming these songs into the mountain ranges of Afghanistan to drive Bin Lamo crazy. I swear within 3 hours AlQaida would surrender. And they would all march into captivity singing the Chilli's old jingle, "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back..."

"Wuh Uh Oh Uh Uh Oh Uh Oh Oh Uh Uh Oh"

I apologize if I got you humming any of these songs. I found this link to help you understand this problem.
http://www.exploratorium.edu/music/questions/earworm.html

Holy Crap!

I'm not sure what happened. Each week I get a report detailing the average number of people visiting this blog. A few months ago the average was 12. I'm totally serious. It was a blow to my ego that I could call more people on the phone faster than getting people to read my blog. But, I was OK with that. Then after a few months and some emails promoting my blog my average went up to 26. I was pumped up. Then this morning my weekly report came in. My average went up to 91. I had to check the figures three times. Then I thought, crap. I haven't written anything new in a few days.

Welcome all new readers. Please feel free to express yourselves. I'm Mark. And I am here to entertain you, make you think, and make myself feel important by blogging.

I'll blog about anything really. Feel free to view older posts. In fact, I am taking credit for Obama being elected. I think this blog pushed his big car over the hump. My blog was like the little Who JoJo who "Yopped!" in the story "Horton Hears A Who". Oprah gets the big credit, but those of us here know the real truth. I'm just waiting for Obama to call with a cabinet post for me.

I try to point out things I find humorous in the world. Recently, you might have seen the following Sarah Palin turkey video:



What is hilarious, to me, is the guy doing his job in the back. He's doing his job, not a pretty job, but he seems to really be curious about what Palin is saying. He could just as easily be a barista in a Starbucks making a tall frappe latte. Gotta love Alaska.

At this blog all comments are welcome. We have some regulars. My brother, Scott, cousin Linda, Bill, an anonymous poster called CFandI, Tara, and lately Mar. We throw down, but always being respectful of each other. When my brother comments you can tell he's envious of my blogging success (whatever that means).

Lastly, I encourage you to tell your friends about things blog. My ultimate goal is to be discovered by Oprah. I can't do it without your help. So forward this blog to Bill Gates and he will send you either two tickets to Disney World or a Tommy Hilfiger shirt.

MY Favorite Things

Every year Oprah does a show of her favorite things. The studio audience goes home with like $10,000 worth of gizmos, books, and Caribbean ostrich jerky (pronounced JEEEEEERRRKKY!).
It looks something like this.

Well, in my quest to become a Skype guest on Oprah I have decided to share with you,

MARK'S FAVORITE THINGS!
(Be they real or imagined)

Music
People love their iPods and MP3 players. Downloading songs can get expensive. I almost never buy music. I download for free using the tips I saw in this video.

These tips are also made easier at this website;
http://www.jimmyr.com/

YouTube Tricks
Another of my favorite web tools is http://vixy.net/. With this site you can download the audio or video of any website to your PC. I use it to make MP3's from YouTube videos. My MP3 player can display videos so I have downloaded videos as well for my own use as well.

If you have buy, buy cheap
There are times when I actually have to buy computer software. Some applications can be very expensive. I have found journeyEd to be a goldmine of savings. If you have kids in school or if you are a teacher you are eligible for huge savings.

The Ultimate Remote Control
I love my Remo, the smart TV remote control. My Remo is programmed to change the TV channel as soon as somebody I don't like comes on. For example, I have The WGN-TV Morning News on in the background each day. When it's over Live with Regis & Kelly comes on. To me, Kelly Ripa is like sticking a drill in my ear. My Remo is programmed to change the station immediately when comes on. It works on those Electrolux commercials she's in too. Besides Ripa my Remo is set for Barbara Striesand, David Hasslehoff and Charo (don't be fooled, she's still out there).

Entertainment
I enjoy Netflix. Getting movies in the mail is cool, but my most favorite thing is watching video online. I have a wide variety of interests so for me this is perfect. I can go from watching a documentary on "wannabe stars dress up on Hollywood Boulevard as superheroes and pose for photos with tourists" to watching Weird Science starring Kelly LeBrock (where is she now?).

Drink a drink
I love a hot cup of chai. My absolute favorite instant chai is from David Rio. Try the 12 packet sampler. You will not be disappointed.

Picture This
If you want or need photos of Chicago look no further than the Bob Horsch Gallery. I have had a link to his website for awhile now at the top right of this blog. I have known him for awhile as well. A great place to shop this holiday season.

Last One
Those who know me, know I like to eat. If I were to choose a last meal it would be the ribs from Texas Roadhouse. The meat comes off the bones like frosting off a cake. I'm drooling as I type this.

Right One
If I had to choose a favorite hand it would be my right one.

Cough
If you need medical care look no further than Vista Family Medicine. From the minute you walk in the door you will begin to feel better. Started by Dr. Jim Valek it has grown to four providers. Dr. Sapana Rana and Board Certified Family Nurse Practitioners Monica Ryan and Teri Masterson will lead you down the path of feeling better.

Green Green Grass of Home
It's not early too early to think about lawn care. Well, OK, maybe it is, but here is my favorite lawn care company, Trimlawn® Inc. Every year I have the best looking lawn on the block. Many others have lawn care companies, but they don't have the results I have.

Favorite Color
Blue

Favorite Dish
Round

Some Tubular Thoughts
(This Blog contains material that may not be suitable for children and Republicans)

While watching some TV over the weekend I saw a few things of interest. First was a K-mart commercial that basically "outed" Santa Claus. They show young kids gleefully opening Christmas presents on Christmas morning. They are getting everything any kid could ever imagine. The scene changes to Dad talking to Mom. Dad shares the kid's excitement, but then kind of whispers in Mom's ear, "How much did this all cost?" Hey! K-mart. Do you realize that even though the TV Dad is whispering and his TV kids might not hear him, THE REAL KIDS WATCHING CAN HEAR HIM?
I am a firm and solid believer in Santa Claus. I highly recommend his autobiography, The Autobiography of Santa Claus. How dare K-mart even suggest such a thing. I urge everyone reading this blog to tell your friends, family, neighbors, congressmen, and Oprah what K-mart did and is suggesting. Did I mention Oprah? Be sure you tell her. She might read my blog. If Oprah read my blog I could become famous. She might do a show on bloggers and I could Skype in on her show. We all know how much Oprah loves to Skype. (I better go download Skype immediately. You know how fast things travel on the internet.)

The other thing I saw on TV was 60 Minutes' interview with President Elect Barack Obama. Listening to him speak is SOOOOOOO refreshing. When he speaks you know he understands what he is saying. When our current "President" speaks you get the feeling he doesn't know what he is saying. He just keeps going with the hope somebody will explain things to him later.



Don't forget to tell Oprah about me.

Time + Technology = What!

If you give someone enough time and enough technology anything is possible. Here is an example of what can happen.



Sometimes just time is needed.



What did the youth do before the internet and computers? Oh yeah, they invented the hula-hoop and yo-yo's. Which I'm sure the older folks looked at and said, "Where do these kids come up with these ideas? What's wrong with marbles?"

It Was Going To Happen

Remember when the Bush administration said there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Then we bombed the holy hell out them only to discover, oops! No WMD's. Oh well, we got Saddam, who despite being an evil dictator, hadn't harmed the U.S. Not worth 4509 soldiers in my opinion.

Remember when the Bush administration said they were going to buy up $700 billion of bad debt from troubled banks? That move was going to help the economy move forward. Oops! Again. Now the government is just buying stock in "bad" companies.

If I know greedy billionaires, and I do because I worked for them, "bad" companies will be coming out of the woodwork like rats in the movie Ratatouille.



Billionaires can smell money, especially lots of free money. I'm starting to believe that that $700 billion is going to end up in the wallets of a lot of billionaires. This must be trickle down economic recover. That's when billionaires start grasping at the bowl of billions of dollars. When their fat grubby fingers can't hold more they drop some billions on the floor. That's for us.

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

Now that I'm averaging 21 visitors a day I thought I would use this space for advertising. Please watch the following ad.



I think it is a good idea that the Buddhist monks are selling their fashions after this much time. In today's world economy everybody needs to be creative.

The "actresses" in following commercial could benefit from the Snuggie. They must be chilly.



For the sake of journalist reasons I've watched that commercial 47 times. I have no idea what they are selling. But, I've ordered seven.

Batter Up!

I was trying to decide how I wanted to blog today. As my regular(s) reader(s) know I supported Obama from the start. But, how should I respond? I know some who visit here do not share my current enthusiasm. The fact is, regardless, we will have a new President in January. We all have to do what's needed to do to get our country out of the mud pit we've been stuck in for eight years.

They way I look at it is between now and the inauguration it's like Spring training in baseball. Obama is putting his team together to get ready for a four years long season. We are the fans. And like good White Sox fans we will demand performance. We love our team, but if you don't perform you will hear our wrath.

Obama is a White Sox fan (awesome) and he knows exactly what I'm talking about. Of course, I doubt the President-elect reads my blog. My wife thinks Nancy Faust should play "Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey Goodbye" at the inauguration. (That would be so cool.)

Obama has to put together an All-Star team to win. Our opponents are tough. We play the Economy Nightmares on Opening day followed by the Iraq War Albatrosses, the Terrorism Red Devils, the Taxes Titans, the Social Security Hippos, the Abortion Rights Angels, the Middle East Madness, the Environment Eagles, the Health Care Red Tapes, and the Gay Marriage Belles.
That's just part of the schedule.

Obama is a rookie. But, like the rabid fans we are, we don't care. We want to win now. The goal is to make the playoffs in 2012.

Play ball America!

Release The Hot Air

Today is the day. One thing that is for sure today is that George friggin' Bush's name is not on the ballot.

After all the hot air today is the day we vote.

I just hope that whoever wins tonight they really get to work on fixing this country.

That's it from me.