From Where I Sit...

His Job Sucks

I'm sure you have seen those Dyson vacuum commercials where the guy admits he has spent like 20 years inventing a better vacuum. Well, I've never vacuumed with a Dyson so I can't say if they are better than an old Hoover or Dirt Devil. To be very honest I didn't realize there was any problems in the world of vacuums that could justify the Dyson guy to devote his life to making a new vacuum. But, hey, everybody needs a hobby. Some people collect lint others suck it up. Who am I to judge?

But now Mr. Dyson is doing it again with his Airblade hand dryer. He didn't like the old hand blowers you find in public restrooms. He thought they didn't dry his hands fast or well enough. So he spent another 10 years building a better hand dryer. The premise is using high-speed focused air to blast any wetness from your hands. He claims his dryer is, among other things, more hygienic. Well, I just happen to see his Airblade in action at the Museum of Science and Industry. It does what he claims it should. Blasts that yucky germ carrying water right off your hands.

But, and this a but that might send Dyson away to invent again, where does the yucky water go? From my observations, on the floor, the wall, your shoes, and the Airblade itself. The bottom of the Airblade I saw was splattered with watermarks from who knows how many past hands. This Airblade was also at the perfect height for small toddlers to just wipe their hands and mouths all over. Back to your garage or workshop Mr. Dyson. This time invent an antibiotic that will make people not get violently ill after using your high-tech petri dish of doom.

Mr. Dyson did get me thinking. If I had nothing better to do what annoyances would I spend years of my life trying to invent away. Just a few thoughts.

• A voice activated TV or radio remote control that would change the station immediately upon hearing pre-programmed voices. Mine would include Kelly Ripa, Barbara Streisand, and Rosie O'Donnell.
• A smarter caller id for your phone. Depending on the number calling, your phone can hang up, play a specific message, or answer speaking a foreign language.
• A smart vacuum. A vacuum so smart that it will suck up food within 10 seconds of dropping it. Oh wait. That already exists, a dog.