From Where I Sit...

Lazy Rivers For Dummies And The Completely Clueless

Hello all my faithful readers. Since I started writing this blog it has been visited just over 3000 times. That's an average of 3 per day. At least more people read my blog than people have read Donny Most's autobiography, "I Still Got It!" Thank you for your continued support.

For those three readers I was off last week. The family and I went to the beautiful Wisconsin Dells for a little Spring Break action. We stayed at the expansive Chula Vista Resort. The draw for us was the Lost Rios Indoor Waterpark. Nothing like shaking off those winter blues by swimming and splashing in an 84 degree room.

Now since I don't actually get in the water the park becomes a people watching extravaganza. Waterparks bring out great a buffet of things to watch.

• There's your standard of beautiful people showing off their great bodies.
• Then there are those who THINK they have a great body to show off. For some reason this group is usually men with very large bellies and or more body hair than a Three toed sloth. There are the teenage girls who are wearing very skimpy bathing suits, but then are embarrassed by their suits that they try to configure their arms in a effort to cover everything their suits don't.
• There's the very important lifeguards, who despite there lack of years can make grown men cry just by blowing a whistle a few times. The guards at Chula Vista for some reason wore sweatshirts and sweatpants. It just made me feel less confident in their lifesaving skills, but I don't know why.
• One thing I saw on this trip I had never seen before. A woman floating in the lazy river reading a book in a a zip lock bag. Each time she needed to turn the page she would unzip the bag, stick her wet hand in the bag, turn the page, remove hand from bag, and rezip the bag. I couldn't tell what she was reading, but from afar it looked like a Dummies book. From afar or up close she just looked dumb.