When Stupid Pigs Fly

I just read an email from Jed. To refresh, Jed is my friend who does not believe Obama will be a good President. Jed is a good hard working American business owner who I respect greatly.

Jed felt that Obama got too lite of a scolding for the now infamous fake Air Force One/fighter jet photo session over New York City.

I disagree with Jed on this one. The photo-op story was the lead story on every news medium I looked at yesterday. I believe the fire was put quickly because everybody said it was a stupid mistake, even Obama.

My opinion, the White House is full of "green" political workers. Dare I say, "cocky". Some staffer had one of those ideas that looks good on paper, but in reality, was not so smart.

Bloomberg & Obama were furious about the subject. From what I read all the proper people were told what was going to happen, they just never told the people.

Jed, and I'm sure some of my other regulars, will wonder what if it had been Bush's mistake?

I think the media coverage would have been the same, but Bush's response would've been more like this;

Bush:
"I was informed some pictures were taken of my plane over New York yesterday. I'm sure some people were 'fraid that Al-Qaeda was back. I'm sorry they felt that way. But, bein' 'fraid is also good because it helps us remember to be on our toes fer terrorists. We cain't ferget that dem Al-Qaeda terrorists want to kill us. We must always be ready to prevent attacks from Al-Qaeda. To show Al-Qaeda we still mean bussiness I've ordered our troops to attack any country with the letter "Q" in its name. "Q" is the secret code letter for Al-Qaeda. Find the "Q" and you've found Al-Qaeda. Thank you and God Bless America."

It's Who You KnowI don't know what I'm doing wrong. I live in Illinois and in Cook county, yet I don't have a state job despite being extremely unqualified.

Hiring in Illinois government is a joke. The Cook county commish hired a busboy and was quickly promoted twice to a $61,000 job, despite having a criminal background.

"Nobody knew" his background.

He was also bailed of jail twice by the commish's cousin, who was also a county employee, the chief financial officer. She just got fired too. I don't want to go to that next family party.

Remember Blagojevich? He hired the guy who sold him suits to a $91,000 state job.

I do have a cousin that works for the county. Maybe if I sold her a suit and cleared her table, maybe I could get one of those sweet state or county jobs.

Shoot, I forgot.

We both have morals that we live by.

I guess I'll never get a state or county job.

Movie Magic And A Blow Hard

I recently had the chance to watch, what many call, the best movie ever made, Citizen Kane. While I enjoyed the movie, I didn't think it was the best movie ever. I would take Mr. Smith Goes To Washington or Meet John Doe before Citizen Kane as a best ever candidate. I qualify my opinion with the fact that I knew who Rosebud was before watching. With that being said, I still don't understand why that movie is so highly rated.

It brings me to my life philosophy that the world is full of geniuses. I admit, gladly, that I am not a genius. I have met people I would call genius and I know they are geniuses because they understand things I do not or ever will understand.

Geniuses are all around if you look. For example. I often will ride a bus service to get around town on my own. The dispatchers for the company are seldom former drivers and they have never lived in this area. To me, that must be genius at work because I can't understand how somebody who has no idea of the surroundings can be responsible for helping people get around.

Genius.

In Hollywood yesterday former Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich was filming promotions for a game show he can't be on.


Genius.

The winning bidder to buy the Chicago Cubs for $900 million is NOW looking for investors to raise money for the purchase. I thought you needed money before you can bid on something.

Genius.

Kelly Ripa

Genius.

If Nobody Cares, Are You Still A "Celebrity"?

U.S. District Judge James Zagel denied Rod Blagojevich permission to leave the country to participate in a reality game show, "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!"

This is great news for the state of Illinois. Finally, somebody said, "Enough is enough." Blagojevich is not a celebrity, he is an impeached governor charged with selling off a Senate seat. Blagojevich is a few steps lower than a used car salesmen (no offense to used car salesmen).

The term "celebrity", as defined by Wikipedia;

A celebrity is a widely-recognized or notable person who commands a high degree of public and media attention.

As I read on, I believe Blagojevich fits the following description better;

Those that seek out publicity for themselves are often called a media tart whereas those that use their private life as a vehicle for enhanced celebrity status, sometimes desperately, are referred to as a media whore.

In my mind, a "celebrity" is someone who has qualities that the public wishes to experience, i.e. a singer, an actor/actress, an intellect.

Blagojevich does not possess a single quality I wish to experience. He is not alone. Probably the best example in history would have to be Paris Hilton. Yet, she's always in the spotlight despite having any desirable qualities. The list of these type of "celebrities" is growing. I think we need a new word to describe them so as not to dilute the meaning for real "celebrities".

Some ideas:

Lookatmes
Takemypictures
Ineedexposures
ImsuchaloserbutpleasekeepmeinthespotlightImbeggingyoupleases

Good Night Pooch

This is quite cool. I'm gonna try this with my son.

Hold The Water, I'll Have The Swill

Last week I was on vacation. My family took a few day trips around the great Midwest. Springfield, Indianapolis, Brookfield Zoo and walking around our village. Despite crappy weather, the week was great.

Springfield was great. The Abraham Lincoln Library & Museum should be a must stop for any fan of "Honest Abe". My 5.5 year old enjoyed it. How many presidential libraries can get a thumbs up from a Kindergartner?

Indianapolis was enjoyable as well. They have a great Children's Museum which we had visited when my son was almost a year old. He loved it then and he loved it now. If your kids are into dinosaurs try to visit this museum.

We also saw the Tax Day Tea Party of Indianapolis. Or as I like to call it, Republican Sore Losers Protesting On April 15th. The protests were focused on the huge government spending during the world's worst economic situation in 80 years. I just wonder where these people were when Bush was dropping a billion dollars a day in Iraq looking for the Tooth Fairy?

But, I digress.

My week ended with the discovery that my village has been serving up toxic water for 20 years. Before Saturday my village was famous for being the village that rebated property taxes. Our life long mayor, Chester Stranczek, was famous for running this village like a business. Low village costs meant low taxes. Low taxes meant extra village money would be given back to us residents. It was true and for the last 18 years I've gotten a nice check. But, all goods things must come to an end, right? Our mayor kept the water rates low by filling 20% of our water tower from a well. The well water was basically free. The pump is located directly below the water tower. Unfortunately, it's also directly across a small creek from a dry cleaners. The dry cleaners dumped cancer causing chemicals into the ground which eventually tainted the well. The village knew in 1986 the well was tainted. They agreed to only use the tainted well in emergencies. Allegedly, keeping our water rates low was an emergency because the well was used often since 1986.



I would like to recruit those "Tax Day Tea Party" protesters to come to my village and protest a government knowingly poisoning it's residents. This is the kind of thing that should be protested.

In one week I went from Honest Abe to Cheapo Chet.

And Word From Our Sponsor

What's Going On?

A thought struck me the other day as I watched my Postal Employee fill my mailbox with junk mail.

Why are there overweight Postal Employees?

I mean no disrespect to Postal Employees. I've known and seen many and most are quite fit.

But why are some heavy?

My current Postal Employee is heavy as was my previous one. They walk and walk and walk. Usually while carrying a heavy bag of mail. They walk in the winter, spring, summer and fall.

I've heard walking is great exercise. I've even read about it here, http://walking.about.com/od/beginners/tp/startwalking.htm.

With all that walking Postal Employees should be in tip top shape.

Unless...

Unless, in there mail trucks they are binge eating. Maybe not all those gifts from Hickory Farms make it to their intended final destinations. They can't stop at drive-thru's because they sit on the right side of the truck. And I've never seen a mail truck go through a drive-thru backwards so they must be pre-loading their provisions.

I'm not being critical. They all do a great job delivering the mail. It's just that my UPS & FED-EX guys are very slim and trim and they drive door to door not walk. Is there a weight gain anomaly here that doctors have missed? Has this been studied before? Is the CIA aware of this? Or am I just crazy (don't answer that)?

Maybe there are clues here.



Or here...



Or here ...

Is Perfection Tainted?

Over the weekend I did something I think my father would have been proud of, I bowled a perfect game. Now I did this on a Wii video game, but does it count as a great feat?

To bowlers a 3oo game is nirvana. My Dad was a serious bowler. He could talk to someone over the phone and correct their flaws. He was good. He never bowled a 300 game, but did take great pride in a 600 series (3 games with a total > 600) he once rolled. I just don't know if this counts on the pride scale.

Videos games have been around a long time. I've been there since the beginning. My family received a gift of a Magnavox Odyssey game circa 1974. You had plastic colored film to put on the screen to allow for color and designs. The game controls were like something from a nuclear energy control site. Skill involved being able to hold the controls that weighed a ton.

Next we had an Atari 2600. The most popular video game of the day. My brother and I would play sports games a lot because we were a sports loving family. I was way better then my brother (he'll deny). But while we were good at these video games, skill, talent and respect were never afforded to us.

I'll skip over the Atari 5200 fiasco and my Game Boy phase. I dabbled in games on the computer over the last 20 years, but I found they lacked the competition edge I yearned for from my youth (that sounds quite pathetic).

Now we have Wii. Santa brought Jimmy one for Christmas. The whole family can and does play together. The game comes with Wii Sports. You can play tennis, baseball, bowling, golf and boxing. You are up and moving around. Skill is required. Competition is reborn.
I admit that I have practiced after my wife and son have left for school. I got better, I got good, the competitive spirit was on fire.

But, would Dad have been proud? I think he would have some advice on picking up splits and I do think he would have been proud in a certain way. I know he would give the bowling a try too.

Ear Worm Weekend

I have hand picked the following songs to get in your weekend psyche.

Happy humming!

Worm #1


Worm #2


Worm #3


Worm #4


Worm #5

Company Is Here!

Remember when you young and your family was having a big family party? You watched Mom and Dad get the house ready while your job was to straighten up your room and stay out of the way.

Well, the City of Chicago is experiencing that type of activity on an epic scale. (I love when things are on epic scales.) The International Olympic Committee is here, in town, now. They are checking out the city to see if Chicago would be able to be a good host city.

They have been polishing up the brass and filling in pot holes and I even heard they put Aquafina in the Chicago River. The mayor, Hizzonor Richard Daley, has asked people to put a smile on just in case they run into members of the Olympic committee.

I think it would be really cool if the Olympics came here. Chicago deserves to be put in the international spotlight. But, I don't think the people need to change. Chicagoans are the nicest people you will meet, anywhere.

This is not new though. Watch this video and see what can happen if you try too hard.

Chicago Gets Ready for Visitors