Regis Go Away, Please

When I started this

VOTE
FOR
SHAUNNA

tour, I had such high hopes. Get on a few nationally televised programs and BAM, I've helped some one.

First it was Al Roker sittin' on my Ritz.
Then a gabby Supreme cuts me short on Letterman.

Yesterday I was making my way over to the The Daily Show, no problems. When all of a sudden my wheelchair gets caught up on Regis Philbin's ascot (he's the only guy who wears an ascot in June).

Well, my wheels start spinning like crazy and Regis hits the ground like a caught trout. He starts yelling,

"Regis is down, somebody help Regis!"

Well people see him go down, but are confused by his speaking in the 3rd person. They all come to help me get untangled from the ascot.

Regis starts going crazy,

"Regis is gonna be upset if nobody helps him!"

His ranting only gets the others to work faster to free me of his ascot, which they finally do.

Regis starts in on me then,

"Just who do you think you are mister?"

Then he starts shoving me around and I try to explain that it was all an accident. Just then a taxi stops next to us and out jumps Kathy Lee Gifford.
She starts hitting Regis to protect me, having recognized me from being on her show earlier in the week.

She is hitting Regis yet calling him Frank, it was all very weird.

Needless to say I spent the rest of my time at the police station filling out paperwork on the Regis & Kathy Lee Fight.

And yes I missed the Daily Show.

Tomorrow is Oprah back at home, I can hardly wait.

Remember why I'm out here.


VOTE
FOR
SHAUNNA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WIFE!

Today is my wife's birthday.

I was going to sing her favorite song last night on Letterman, but Former Justice Sandra Day O'Connor was a time hog and I got bumped again from a major network show.

I wanted to do something special.

So I called my friend Richard Starkey, who used to play in a musical quartet. I explained to Ricky, I call him Ricky, what had happened and he quickly jumps on his PC puts together a video of song his quartet recorded many years ago.



Don't forget to

VOTE FOR SHAUNNA

Watch me on the Daily Show tomorrow night.

Damn You Jo Bros!

As I'm sure you were waiting for me to appear on the Today show last Friday. I was in the Green Room waiting to go on. I was minding my own business eating some baklava and Ritz crackers sipping a Pomegranate and Pineapple smoothie when the Jonas Brothers walk in.

We exchanged some casual conversation. I told them about my

VOTE FOR SHAUNNA

quest that I am on. They quickly jumped on every PC they could find trying to vote.

Then they started arguing over which one of them was Shaunna's biggest fan. From there a whole fight broke out and I was kicked in the mouth by one of those punks.

Well, I might have been kicked. It was either that or I knocked over Al Roker trying to get the last Ritz cracker, but let's not get lost in the details. He really knows how to use those elbows to block out.

Either way I had a fat lip and was unable to speak about Shaunna. Hopefully Letterman goes better tonight.

Please don't let this ugly incident stop you from voting for Shaunna.
Click on her picture in the upper right corner.

Have You Voted Yet?

When I blogged about my friend Teardra's daughter Shaunna entering a modeling contest I thought I had done enough. Well, I was wrong. I think I might have gotten her hopes too high. She's just a kid who was probably in awe of a mildly successful blogger trying to sell her dream to the 20's that read his blog bi-daily.

I decided to hit the road to get the word out. I'm going to use my blogging powers across this great country to bring Shaunna a victory.

Today I will begin a cross country tour encouraging the country to VOTE FOR SHAUNNA!

Later this morning I will be appearing on the Today Show. Matt Lauer owed me a favor. Years ago he wanted to do

"Where In DeMoines Is Matt Lauer?"

I said,
"Matt, broaden your horizons."

Well, you know the rest.

I did have to agree to also do the "Kathy Lee & Hoda" show, but its for a good cause.
(I didn't tell NBC that I would only speak Manderine Chinese on their show.)

Here's my schedule.
June 19 Today Show & Kathy Lee & Hoda
June 22 David Letterman
June 24 The Daily Show
June 26 Friday Live with Oprah

That should do the trick.

Remember you can vote once per day per PC. 10 PC's = 10 votes.

VOTE FOR SHAUNNA!

Second Best Blogger In Town

If you enjoy baseball and you enjoy straight talk visit my new must read blog,

Black Jack on the White Sox

I promise you will not be disappointed.

How Much Power Does This Blog Have?

My mind is already packed for vacation. I had a wild weekend full of friends at a ballpark and family under an ocean in my front yard. I don't have a clue what's going on in the world right now outside my house.

I do have Facebook. Facebook is a social networking site where you can irritate your personal social network about where you're eating a bowl of Sugar Smacks, RIGHT NOW!

Facebook has another side. You can find current friends or past friends. It is an easy way to stay in touch. I don't live on Facebook, but I have found some great new connections.

Another interesting thing about Facebook is that if your friends have kids, you can get to know the "younger generation" on a bridge to the Generation Gap.

For example. I have a friend who I'll call Teardra. Teardra has a daughter in college, Shaunna, who I've seen videos of her singing. Awesome talent. I don't know her personally, but I think she has talent.

This morning I see she is trying to win a modeling contest where she needs people to vote.

I don't have another idea for a blog, so let's see how powerful my blog is.

Can we get my friend Teardra's daughter, Shaunna, a win?

Go to the following website;

http://www.vmagazine.com/page.php?pn=V%20A%20MODEL

Click on View Submissions Vote

Look for the following photo


Click to vote

Done

You can vote once per day until June 29th.

If Shaunna wins we can all say we helped.

If she becomes a huge star maybe she will provide me with blogging material in the future.

Go vote!

Bad Adver-Timing

I was reading a story about a young little leaguer who survived being shot in the head. My eye caught an advertisement for life insurance featuring a coffin.

Talk about bad timing.

Not So Fast

I'm going to continue my reality TV reviews, but I'm shifting a gear.

All the entertainment rags will be gushing over the news that American Idol runner up, Adam Lambert, is gay.

Shock!

The Rolling Stone magazine got the official story, despite the cat being out the bag a few weeks ago. Yipee for Adam, you're gay.

Adam says, "He's proud to be gay." Um, if he's so proud why did he wait until all the AI voting was over?

Because he believed his sexuality could have cost him millions.

Adam was the rocker. Girls were screaming for him and voting for him at a record pace. Put out the "Proud To Be Gay" flag and the demographics change.

I don't have an issue with Adam's sexuality. I was not a fan of his singing style from the beginning. Straight or gay I thought he was a hard rocker caricature.

I just take issue with his "proud to be gay", but I'll wait until those screaming girls are done making me a millionaire. Now, I'm proud to be gay.

Just Get Outta Here

As I've mention before, I'm following Patti Blagojevich on the show, "I'm Narcissistic, ... Look At Me!", as a blogger.

Patti has learned from her young bratty co-stars, cry, whine, cry, seek self-pity. On Monday's episode she had the flood gates wide open. Ironically, after super whiner, Pratt, coached her to open up and start talking. Cut to the next scene, Patti is telling a Baldwin being in the jungle is nothing compared to her last six months. She's doing what she needs to do for her children so that they can stay in the same house and same schools. Boo Hoo! Your husband dug this hole, now you have to fill it.

Then in the solo interview she starts crying. At one point I swear she looked up to see if the cameras were still rolling.

The other day I felt Patti was the sanest of this bunch. I still believe that because she is now trying to morph into her co-stars. It's all about attention, and I understand the show's concept. I don't know how Patti lived with herself before this show. And I really don't know how she'll do it after the show.

This show is really asking, How low will you go?

For The Kids, My Ass!

I confess I did it.
I told myself I was never going to do it, but I did.

I had to.

I'm a blogger.

I have a responsibility to you to research the underbelly of society and tell you what I've seen.

I watch an entire episode of "I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here".

I felt that because I bashed Mr. Blagojevich so much I had to see what the Mrs was up to. My first thoughts were that PattiB was the only sane person in a group of true whack jobs. I had not even heard of some of these "Celebrities", yet quickly learned that folks will do anything to be on TV.

My second thought was that this "Costa Rica" jungle seem like a staged setting. I'm not buying that these people are anywhere other than a LA sound stage. At least on Survivor the jungle looks like a jungle.

But, I digress.

Patti's husband, Rod, was the guy that was supposed to go to the jungle. Apparently, the Blagojevich family is so broke they needed one of them on the show. Both Blagos have said they are doing this show for their children. Personally, I think my child would be more stressed out seeing a parent being washed away in the river or having giant bugs crawl all over their face. (Well, my son might find that part cool.)

Don't the Blagos realize their kid's friends and enemies will be watching PattiB on the show. If she does anything embarrasing her kids will suffer. Stop using your kids as an excuse. Rod broke the law. Rod needs money to pay HIS lawyers. Rod isn't doing the heavy lifting to help himself. After one or two more tarantula lap dances PattiB is gonna realize Rod is a jerk and she'll be gone.

The show is really for "Celebrities", if we can call tem that. PattiB clearly does not belong with these people. I give her credit, she seems nice. I just hope her kids don't suffer too much from this experience,

"They're Just Kids...Get Their Mommy Out of There."

Worst Lawyer EVER!

If you live in the Chicagoland area you have probably seen the following video of the 250 pound Chicago Police officer beating the snot out of the 125 pound female bartender because she refused to continue serving the drunk man.



Well, that happened over two years ago. The court case was concluded yesterday. The 250 pounder was found guilty of aggravated battery. That didn't surprise me as the video was rather compelling. What did surprise me was his lawyer's strategy. The 1/8 ton man was claiming SELF DEFENSE. He feared for his safety when the diminutive drink tosser helped gigantor into the wall and floor after he went behind the bar.

His lawyer must not have watched the video or understand basic physics. Read this story and you'l laugh out loud at the other testimony he gave.

Gotta love the legal system.

A Hospital Note

I realize I've been slow to jump back in to my blog since being in the hospital. I hope that will be changing soon.

When I was in the hospital I had plenty to think about. My thoughts kept coming back to the nurses and PCA (Personal Care Attendants). No disrespect to my great team of doctors, but nurses and PCA's are awesome people. One night when I had trouble sleeping I just listened to what these people had to deal with.

In one room there was a man who thought he was in WW2.
In one room there was a woman who kept getting undressed and tried to leave.
One room had a man that kept screaming at the top of his lungs, "I can't breathe!"
Another room had a man who could not speak English.

Despite all these distractions they would carry out the needed medical care to each patient. That one night when all was going crazy I needed some moderate help. I had had a fever break leaving me soaked in sweat. I just asked to have my blanket lowered. They changed my gown and all my sheets on my bed.

Nurses and all caregivers need to be respected at the highest degree. While the doctors put the treatment on paper, nurses put the treatment into action. They are the reason I cleared up a pneumonia in two weeks.

Now if nurses can get contestants on "The Price Is Right" to not be brain dead when they get on stage it would be a wonderful world.